Just when I was finally uploading Adi's birthday pics, I get a message that there is no space for storage and that I have already used up the allocated 1 GB. I don't want to pay for additional space. What do I do now??
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.
Well, today has been dedicated to "blog update" and I want to update most of the events, incidents, travels that has happened this year - posts that have been in my mind but have not reached my fingers!! One significant event is that I managed to make my son aware of sexual abuse. Cannot claim that he is completely aware but at least I spoke to him about it and I check with him periodically to see if he remembers. A few of my friends had blogged about it, but I didn't know the right way to explain this to my son. Until the TV show Satyamev Jayate happened. I guess it was the 2nd or 3rd episode of Satyamev Jayate and it focussed on child sexual abuse. Towards the end of the show, Aamir Khan had a workshop for the kids where he explained about "danger parts" and how to deal with a situation where a stranger touches the "danger parts" without his or his parents permission (when doctors are involved). And I just had to show this to Adi - AK explained it so easily, in a way kids could understand. We were in Delhi at that time and so my Sis and I showed this program to Adi and his cousin Bhoomi. As expected, there were questions and we answered it. And then they were amused by the whole idea of it and kept giggling away talking about it :))
Anyways, every other month I ask Adi if he remembers what the danger parts are and if anyone has been messing around. And he does remember. I think I owe this education to Aamir Khan - he was brilliant in his teaching and explaining.
I wish we were educated about this when we were children. As a growing girl I have been touched, groped, pinched - in the streets, trains, buses, shops - many times when I my Mom was around - but I never had the courage to tell her. I think this has left a lasting effect on me - where I am not comfortable with guy friends touching me unless I know them really, really well. I do not want my son to go through this (yes, I think boys can be abused too) and want to give him the courage to share anything that happens with his parents. And God forbid, if something does happen, he is able to come and talk to his parents about it. I can only try to my best to make him understand - I hope he does.
Now that I got the top 10 Mommy Moments done, here is a list of things that I would like to do with Adi or for him know and understand as he is growing up. Again in no particular order.
1. Share his first cigarette - yes, when he is old enough, I am going to give him a cigarette myself, make him try it, explain what harm it can do and why it's not good to smoke. I am thinking maybe around 4th std coz when I was in 5th I knew of a few boys my age who smoked and I experimented with smoking when I was in 4th! But who knows, with kids these days, it could be earlier.
2. Watch the Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, The GodFather movie series back to back with popcorn and if he is old enough, a drink!
3. Answer all his questions as truthfully as I can even if it is not age appropriate - so far I have answered questions on how a baby comes out of the mother, marriage (have given him options of being with someone he loves with or without marriage), kissing on the lips!!
4. Make him understand that kindness is important and also it is more important to give than receive
5. Do one of those overnight camping rock concert events
6. To teach him to live life fully, be passionate about whatever he wants to pursue and to dream big
7. Let him know that he should never, never, never lie to me - no matter what it is that he has done - I am still working on this one
8. Help him to never let go of his imagination as he grows up. I believe in all his stories, even when he comes home and tells me that he stepped on a tornado or that he runs so fast that no one can see him!
9. Let him develop his own personality and not make him like me or his Dad
10. Make him understand the importance of friendship - good friends are a life long treasure
11. Let him teach me things I do not know - starting with Hindi :))
12. To be positive, be happy and take life as it comes
13. To love freely and deeply
14. To develop a love for reading - don't think this one is to be and I am willing to let go
15. Make him understand that I will always be there for him, forever and ever and that he will be always be my baby :)
16. Teach him to respect his elders at all times
17. Pass on the love for travel, to learn from each culture, to embrace the differences
18. To give him as much exposure as possible, encourage him to be independent and make his own choices and decisions
Year 2012 is coming to an end...already!!! It seems like it was just a couple of months back that we had the new year party at our place and we were all excited about the beginning of a new year - a year to look forward to, a year of new beginnings, a year of new friendships. I was reminiscing about the year gone by and I thought that I should list the top 10 Mommy moments - moments that made me feel special, cared for, proud, loved, happy, exited. These are in no particular order - just the order they came to my mind...
1. Adi's first day of Grade 1 - was a very proud Mommy seeing my son in his school uniform and going off on his own in the school bus. One of those teary eyes moment (don't think these moments will ever come to an end - it's a lifelong disease!!)
2. One of those rare days when I actually had fever (and not just imagining I had one!). We were in Delhi at my sister's place and I was shivering on a hot summer day. Adi didn't want KG or anyone else to take care of me - he gave me my medicine, made sure I was covered with a blanket at all times, patted me to get me to sleep (like I do to him) and just kept telling me that I will be ok and that he will take care of me. Oh, my adorable brat, I LOVE YOU SO!!!
3. Seeing Adi on stage performing the "kola aata" on his UKG annual day - no matter if he is just standing still on stage, it still gets me all teary eyed (full emotional we are - like all mommies, I guess!)
4. Seeing him cycle on his birthday - without trainers for the first time and he just refused to get down!! Ended up buying a new cycle on the way back home from the party!!
5. Adi's excitement when I took him cycling on the main road!! I needed some groceries and with hubby away at Korea, I decided to walk to the shops and take Adi along with his cycle. Since it was early morning, I thought it would be safe enough to take him cycling on the road. And boy, was he happy!! He was out on the "BIG ROAD" and he was quite proud of himself! Even "parked" the cycle while I shopped :) And made me promise that when he turns 8, he can cycle up to Pizza hut (which has opened closed to home) and order for home delivery :)
6. When I asked Adi "What will you do if you meet your birth mom?" and he replied "I will still be with you - because you are my mommy and I love you very much"
7. All the crazy talk and crazy games we play at bed time - we don't say "good night" anymore, its "bad night", "sussu night", "potty night", "wierd dreams night" and lots of other nights :)
8. When Adi said last night that he was no longer the slowest in writing in his class. Seems like my baby has finally caught up after a very late start :))
9. When Adi shared his packet of chips with a beggar lady whom we see regularly on the way back from his drum class. He always wants a few coins or some money to give her but that day he decided to give her his packet of chips and he told me "Mama, when I grow up I am going to be a kind person"!!
10. When he was in UKG and got a certificate for standing 6th in chess :) And this after zero encouragement from home - coz we never played chess with him because he ended up crying if we won and I would not "fake" a defeat
And one more:
11. When Adi beat me in chess this year - all of 3 times :D yes, I do play with him now :)
There are many, many other moments but will stop at this for now...maybe another post at the end of December :)