September 24, 2012


As we were waiting for the school bus in the morning today, Adi saw our neighbor's dog enjoying a run and said 'Dog's life is so easy - they dont have to go to school and study'!!!!

September 22, 2012


Were the funnest days of our childhood. The school holiday, the family get-together (our entire family of aunts, uncles, cousins would celebrate together in our grandmom's house), singing bhajans with our grandmom and the rest of the family, the special food that is made for each festival, watching "vesha's, visiting the Naga bana and Ganesh pandals, bursting firecrackers on Diwali, enjoying Biryani on Id, christmas cakes and decorating the christmas tree, etc, etc - all made festivals very very special and occasions to look forward to.

With the times having changed so much and a lot of family members living in far locations, I don 't think Adi will ever get to celebrate a festival like we used to. Last year I tried to go back to Malpe for a few festivals so that Adi will get to experience it in a small way. However this year, we were kind of stuck in Bangalore due to some 'well-timed' events or assessments at school. So we tried to do our best in Bangalore itself - although it was nothing compared to what it is like back home. We visited the Krishna temple on Janmastami, cooked mutton biryani on Id, read a story about Mahabali on Onam, and visited a Ganesh pandal on Ganesh Chaturthi. So far I have not ventured into cooking a full fledged festival meal - maybe from next year.

Some pics from our temple visits - all the pics in the Ganesh pandal (except the ones of him) have been taken by Adi with his camera. He specifically asked for it and wanted to take it along!!

These one's are at Chinmaya Mission Krishna Temple on Janmastami.

September 14, 2012

Not Perfect

Reading this blog it may seem like I am a perfect Mom - but I am not. I absolutely love being a Mom and feel that motherhood has been the best ever phase in my life, but I also feel that I can be much much better at being a Mom.

Although I give Adi the freedom to do what he likes most of the times, there are times when I am very impatient with him and shout at him, forget that he is just a 6 year old boy and expect him to behave like an adult, make him do things that he wouldn't want to (just because I feel it's good for him) and the worst of all and the one which makes me feel very bad about myself and which I am desperately trying to stop - give him a couple of whacks when he doesn't listen.

I think I was the most patient with him when he was a baby and a toddler. All I did then was make him laugh. If he threw a tantrum, I would patiently wait until it passed. If he cried, I would gently calm him down. If he didn't listen, I would come up with inventive ways to make him listen and do what I wanted. If he misbehaved, I would scold him, but he never faced any consequence. I still do all this - but now I shout at him, hurt him and make him cry too - and this hurts me a lot because I have absolutely no memories of my parents scolding me, hitting me or making me cry. I dont think I hit him at all until he turned 4. And then I saw some friends of mine doing it and how it made their child behave immediately and I gave it a try - and it worked!! Of course, I don't hit him black and blue - it's just a whack on his back - but he ends up crying - mostly because of the shock rather than the pain I guess. And now its become a habit and I do it whenever I am really angry, sometimes involuntarily - and then when I think back, the anger is not justified at all. I could have handled it better, I could have remained calm, I could have managed without hurting my baby. I have to remind myself that he is just a child and he cannot be perfect - nobody is. The days I am definitely in the wrong, I do explain to him why I hit him and also apologize - and then there are days when he gets angry that I hit him and asks me to apologize!! I should have never gotten into this - never done it even once in the first place. I will regret it forever.

Since he turned 7 last week, I have promised myself that I will never ever hit him again. I will scold him if he misbehaves or doesn't listen, but I will not hit him. This is a promise I am going to try my very  very best to keep.

A friend of mine posted this on facebook recently and I read the line 'Hands are not for hitting' and realized how true that was. I have printed this and stuck on my closet door to remind myself every single day.

September 11, 2012

Proud Of My Boy

This year we decided to celebrate Adi's birthday in a different way (separate post to follow on the birthday celebrations). Firstly, we had a birthday party in Bangalore instead of Malpe (so far, only his first birthday was celebrated in Bangalore) and secondly, we decided to keep it "gift free" for all the guests. We requested the quests to give us cash or cheques instead of presents and all the money collected would be donated to Relief Foundation to help them set up libraries in their resource centres (

I had discussed this idea with Adi before sending out the invites and if he was disappointed about the fact that he wouldn't be getting lots of presents - he didn't show it. I told him that he would get whatever he needed from us and maybe a few more from his family. So he was OK with this idea and told me to go ahead. We had planned for two parties - one for all his friends and one for family. The first party which had many guests - we kept gift free and the other we didn't specify so that Adi would still be excited about getting some gifts (after all which child doesn't love getting a present!).

In the first party, most of the guests gave us either cash or cheque and we managed to collect around Rs.18000!!!! A whopping amount which we never expected!!! We told Adi and he was happy that he could help other children with this money. He said 'now many children can read story books like I do' :)

During the second party which was after a week, my cousin gave him an envelope with cash in it - with two notes of 1000. Adi looked at it and said - 'Mama, one note is for the school and one note for me'. This was something which I never expected - that he would actually give away his gift himself. It was one of those 'teary eyed' moment for me and also a happy one because he was learning to give. Adi's Dad and I were so thrilled that we decided to keep both the notes in his money box!! :) He certainly deserved it!

And I am very, very proud of my little boy!!

September 10, 2012

Seven Years

Since my darling baby was born - to his birth mom whom I am sure loved him dearly. When Adi was born, I am sure she held him tight, smiled at him, cooed at him, hugged him warmly and did all the normal things that mothers usually do. Maybe in the few days that she was his Mom, she gave him as much love as she possibly could - knowing that she could not be with him forever. I can only imagine her hurt and her pain when she had to give her son up for adoption - I am sure she had a good enough reason. I normally don't think about Adi's birth mom - except when I am trying to tell him about it. But I always remember her on 4th Sept, on Adi's birthday - and I wonder if she is thinking of him that day, missing him, wondering where he is, if he happy, how he looks like, if he is naughty, if he is clever, which school he goes to, if his new parents treat him well, if she will ever see him again. I am a mother to this beautiful, energetic, funny, vivacious boy because of her, because she chose to leave her him in an adoption centre and not just abandon him in a random place. I have experienced pure joy and happiness, feel blessed every single day that I have been with my Adi, all because of this woman who I dont know and probably never will. Every year on Adi's birthday, I send out a quiet prayer saying thank u and not to worry about Adi. This year I asked Adi to pray for his birth mom too and he closed his eyes for a few seconds and said that he prayed for her. I hope she can hear us.